By Wendy Lambourne, director, Legitimate Leadership.
Question: What is the difference between a “carrot” and a “reward”?
Answer: The difference is not the money. In both instances, there is a handover of money. The difference lies in the reason WHY the money is handed over. In the case of the “carrot”, the reason is to stimulate an improvement in performance. The motive is therefore a “getting” one. It is essentially “giving to get” – if you give me (more output/better quality/faster), I will give you X units of currency. It is a “giving to get” more in the future, which incites a haggle in which both parties seek to maximise their own interests in the exchange … Read the full answer by clicking here
ARTICLE: PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE AND WHERE IT FITS INTO THE WORKPLACE
By Ian Munro, director, Legitimate Leadership.
Some people understand personal significance; many do not. As part of our work, Legitimate Leadership consultants ask people to identify and reflect on the person they most admire. Let me ask you to do the same.
From the answer to this question, two observations emerge.
First, even in South Africa, Nelson Mandela does not emerge as the most often-cited hero. The person identified most often, our personal “Person Of My Lifetime”, is “My Mum” (sorry dads, collectively we’re just too frequently absent).
Second, and perhaps more interestingly, are the reasons we find these exceptional individuals – whether My Mum, My First Boss or Nelson Mandela – so admirable, compelling and significant.
By Heather Turgeon, New York Times. Heather Turgeon is a psychotherapist and co-author, with Julie Wright, of the new book “Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma”.
COMMENT ON THIS ARTICLE BY WENDY LAMBOURNE, DIRECTOR, LEGITIMATE LEADERSHIP: What is referred to in this article as Rewards and Punishment are what Legitimate Leadership would see as “Sticks” and “Carrots”. Both Sticks and Carrots are conditional – they are a give-to-get and have inevitable consequences at work and at home. Sticks induce resistance while Carrots lead to counter-manipulation or retaliation. They get movement but not willingness. We totally agree with the author’s comments on this. However, at Legitimate Leadership we see Reward/Punishment/Discipline as different to Sticks and Carrots. They are unconditional and are about unconditional giving. Punishment is about unconditional justice while Reward is about unconditional generosity. Carrots and Sticks bring out the worst in human beings while appropriate Punishment and Reward enable people to be the best that they can be.
OUR SUMMARY OF THIS ARTICLE: Rewards and Punishments are conditional, but our love and positive regard for our kids should be unconditional. Here’s how to change the conversation and the behavior.
“I feel a sense of dread as bedtime rolls around. Here we go again.” A parent often says this, feeling frustrated and stumped at the anticipated ignoring of parents’ directions and melt-down at the mention of pajamas.
Should they sternly send him to time out and take away his screen time (Punishments)? Or set up a system to entice him with stickers and prizes for good behavior (Rewards)?